Mature happy couple relaxing on sofa

4 practical steps to finding your purpose when your children fly the nest

As the end of another academic year approaches, you might be preparing to wave your children off on their travels, to university, or to their first home away from home.

This can be an exciting time, full of promise and new beginnings, for both you and your children. However, these changes could also bring stress and uncertainty if you’re used to the buzz of family life.

Celebrities including Rob Lowe, Heidi Klum, and Ulrika Johnson have talked openly about their experiences of “empty nest syndrome” – a sense of sadness and sometimes distress parents feel when their children move out.

Indeed, when your children leave home, it may lead you to question your entire identity and purpose in life – what will you do all day? This “empty nest” period could also emphasise any partner relationship issues.

Read on to discover four practical steps you could take to find a renewed sense of purpose when your children leave home.

1. Make time for self-care

According to research, a significant percentage of adults experiencing an empty nest report symptoms of depression and anxiety.

If you’re struggling to adapt to home life without your children, making time for self-care could be a crucial first step towards accepting this change and regaining your sense of purpose.

Additionally, years of parenting can be exhausting, and you might benefit from both resting and re-energising as this new phase of your life begins.

This could be an ideal opportunity to enjoy more time to yourself, indulging in activities that may give your mental and physical wellbeing a much-needed boost.

Your approach to self-care will be unique to you, but you might like to consider:

  • Ensuring that you get enough sleep
  • See an anti-ageing doctor for a full medical
  • Ensure you have a well-balanced diet, with all the necessary nutrition and supplements
  • Keeping physically active by doing something you enjoy, be that walking, gym, golf, or yoga
  • Allowing yourself wellbeing treats, such as a massage or weekend trips.

Looking after your health and wellbeing could help you build a strong foundation for shaping a new life after your children have flown the nest.

2. Get to know yourself again

If you’ve spent years prioritising the needs of your family, it might be time to focus on your next phase of life.

It’s likely that who you were before you had children differed from how you see yourself as a parent. Similarly, the new “you” after the children have left home may evolve as a completely different version of yourself. Alternatively, you might return to passions you had before parenthood, such as art or a career that was put on hold.

You might also be experiencing physiological changes that could affect how you respond to your children flying the nest.

Both men and women typically go through changes in hormone levels during their 40s and 50s. While women move into menopause, some men may experience symptoms such as low mood and lethargy as the result of an age-related reduction in testosterone.

So, taking the time to get to know yourself again could be an important part of building a new life once your nest is empty.

There are many useful tools for building your self-awareness, such as:

  • Journalling
  • Life coaching
  • Mindfulness techniques – which involve noticing what is happening in the present moment, without judgement.

Greater self-awareness could lead to enhanced wellbeing, and it may help you move into the next phase of your relationships with your children and partner.

3. Talk openly and honestly with your partner

According to research, more people are divorcing after the age of 50 than ever before.

Indeed, the shift in dynamic when your last child leaves home could put a strain on your relationship.

After years of focusing on your children, possibly more than each other, you may need to spend time reconnecting with your partner.

What’s more, you might each respond differently to your children leaving home. So, open and direct communication could help you both understand each other’s feelings and reduce any potential tension that may arise.

Additionally, getting to know yourselves and one another without your children around and finding activities you enjoy doing together could allow you to build a new sense of purpose as a couple.

4. Expand your social circle

Developing old and new friendships may be an enriching part of this new phase of your life.

Perhaps you’ve lost touch with friends due to your family commitments. Once your nest is empty, you could devote the time you might previously have lacked to nurturing these precious relationships.

What’s more, as you and your partner reconnect and discover new interests and hobbies to enjoy together, not only will your spousal friendship deepen, but you may find opportunities to develop new friendships together too.

Not only could these connections bring great joy and present you with novel experiences, but they could also provide valuable support – for example, if you befriend someone at a similar stage of life who is also learning to adapt to an empty nest.

So, while it may feel daunting adapting to a family home without your children, or, indeed, any other major transition, there are practical ways to approach these changes and build a new sense of purpose that could lead you into a rewarding phase of your life.

Get in touch

If you want to find out more about how to align your purpose with your long-term financial goals, we can help.

Please email info@bmpwealth.com or call +852 3975 2878.

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